Dippica is Feeling Reflective.....
I wanted this page to give my thoughts a voice...afterall feeling reflective is giving you the opportunity to be thinking about how you feel. This is what happens in therapy....you have a space where you can spend thinking about yourself, what is going on in your life, who is in your life, about how you feel about things and what you want for yourself.
As we navigate the rush of modern day living, we are constantly switched on, but are we spending enough introspecting (looking within ourselves) to really work out, who we are and what we really want.
I hope these blogs and other resources, will help you to get you thinking about your needs, and help you to make your life fulfilling and purposeful for you.
Blog 1 - Feeling Reflective....Feel like talking? (part I)
As a therapist, I spend much of my working day listening.
I sit with clients as they share their feelings, their life stories, their worries, and their challenges. My role is to prompt with questions and listen to their response. As part of many of these interactions, I’m asked “How are you?”, but in the context of my role, I will almost always reply with “I am well, thank you” and shift the focus back to my clients.
However, if I am talking to someone who is family or a friend, I will reply more personally.
This really struck a chord after spending a lovely lunch talking with a very dear friend, and I reflected on how this made me feel.
It was so nice to be asked “How ARE you?” and to be able to reply fully, openly, honestly. I replied with details about how I am feeling and what has been happening in my life. My friend listened attentively to what I had to say. Equally, I asked my friend about her life, listening carefully to her responses and engaging in active conversation.
I came away feeling happy, energised and lighter. Nothing had changed in the circumstances of my life, but simply by sharing my feelings, it had changed the way I thought and felt about my life.
I reflected on why, and realised it was because I had felt heard and acknowledged. Being listened to - truly listened to - has a powerful impact. It doesn’t solve every problem, but it can shift how we hold those problems. It reminds us that we’re not alone in our experience.
So, I’ll leave you with this:
Who do you feel safe enough to answer honestly when they ask, “How are you?”
Make the time to talk. Make the time to listen.
It matters more than we often realise.
Blog Two - Feeling Reflective....Feeling like Talking? (Part II)
We often underestimate the power of a gentle invitation.
Many people are carrying far more than they show. A simple, sincere question can create the space they’ve been waiting for.
Start a Conversation
It doesn’t have to be complicated. It can be as simple as:
- “How are you today?”
- “How’s your day going?”
- “Maybe we can have a little chat?”
- “Shall we grab a coffee?”
- “Would you like to talk about it?”
- “Shall we go for a walk….walk and talk?”
What matters most is not the wording, it’s the tone. When someone feels the question is truly meant, they’re more likely to answer honestly.
Listen and Acknowledge
A person feels heard when you:
• Reflect back key words they’ve used
• Gently rephrase what they’ve said
• Acknowledge their feelings
For example:
- “It sounds like you’ve been feeling really overwhelmed.”
- “That must have been exhausting for you.”
Resist the urge to talk about yourself and diverting the focus onto yourself...we’ve all done it to show we’re listening and to engage, but we can unintentionally take the space away from the person who is sharing their experience.
Avoid problem-solving
Our instinct is often to ‘fix it’ for someone, offering solutions and advice to help them deal with their issues. But we must remember; sometimes a person does not want a solution, they just want to be able to unburden themselves, to feel less alone with their problems and for someone to simply listen.
